The annual Edward Bulwer-Lytton contest has announced its 2009 winners. In case you haven't heard of this award before, Mr. Bulwer-Lytton was a 19th century politician and author, who is probably best known today for writing the now infamous opening sentence to a novel, "it was a dark and stormy night." For the past 26 years the English dept. at San Jose State University has sponsored a contest asking entrants to write the most wretched opening sentence to a novel possible. This year's winner, David McKenzie from Federal Way, WA, wrote the "winning" entry:
"Folks say that if you listen real close at the height of the full moon, when the wind is blowin' off Nantucket Sound from the nor'east and the dogs are howlin' for no earthly reason, you can hear the awful screams of the crew of the 'Ellie May,' a sturdy whaler Captained by John McTavish; for it was on just such a night when the rum was flowin' and, Davey Jones be damned, big John brought his men on deck for the first of several screaming contests."
The library has two books by Mr. Bulwer-Lytton if you're curious about his florid writing. Something I didn't know about him: he is credited with coining some very well known phrases such as "the pen is mightier than the sword," "the great unwashed," and "pursuit of the almighty dollar."
The Coming Race
The Last Days of Pompeii
